Hello blog, how are you?
Wow, I can’t believe I’m starting to talk to you like you’re some kind of person that I can touch and feel. But if you are to be that kind of person, I hope you’re going to be the likes of my favorite AV Idols or FHM Girl Next Door.
What now? Nothing. Impossible as it may seem, I have nothing to tell you my dear blog. I can’t conjure the correct words for it to be considered an inspiring and extravagant story.
I don’t have what it takes to pleasure you with the letters of my entry. But this is just for now. I hope I can make something interesting for people to read so that they may visit you once more.
*Sigh*
Meanwhile…
Haaaay, this is the kind of life an office bum like me is dreaming of. I am still here (yes, up until now) in the same office that I have been into for the past 7 months or so. I am still the regular worker who just likes to surf and surf and surf the internet all day, NOT for educational purposes, but for mind-destroying reasons.
I’m still consuming the office supplies. They’re free by the way, so if it’s free, it must be consumed no matter how much you hate it.
I am still here, continuously polluting the office air-conditioning with my arsenal of killer farts (and to my disappointment, no one else is affected by it except me) and much much more.
I am currently turning the cubicle wall color into the color of my snacks. It’s made of some sort of cloth that seems to be very, very fit and comfy enough to be used as a rag whenever I have oily, sticky, wet, moist, dirty, or saucy fingers. Just reach for it and wipe your hands and voila! Dirt and stickyness is gone. I just hope roaches won’t try to make a home out of my cubicle because of what I’ve been doing.
It’s been months since I’ve posted something about the office. There’s actually nothing new about it. I guess this is the point in your office life that is defined as monotonous.
You get up early, you take a bath, you travel for a few hours. You login to your bundy clock, you open the PC, and just let the day fly away with nothingness. You didn’t learn anything. You just went your way through the whole working hours staring at your monitor, pressing F5 at your company e-mail account and wishing that work wouldn’t arrive.
You see being an office bum isn’t that easy! I know so much about it, I may even write a guide for it, ahaha. Well that may not be too farfetched since that’s what I am all about — office slacking.
I would be one hell of a happy man if I would be hired as the official office bum. All the non-productive work by all other employees are assigned to me.
“Tannix, check my Friendster/Facebook/Multiply/Myspace/<insert any other online account here> account for me. I need to approve friends, blah blah blah, upload photos, shit shit shit, etc.”
“Tannix, could you please meet my friend? He/She is waiting for me at this restaurant. Here are the list of the things that we need to talk about. Pay close attention to her/him while you are talking and don’t stare at his nose.”
“Tannix, could you please take a nap for me? I really need one! Thanks!”
“Tannix, could you please surf and look out for the latest music video of N’Sync! Please, please, please! I need to know if they’re really back!”
Now imagine all those request being submitted to me at the start of the day, with at least 15 people wanting to slack around but they can’t because they’re too busy and all those tasks are assigned to me. And also imagine those tasks being done at a single day, simultaneously at different places.
Now you see, the thought of being a bum isn’t that enjoyable once you get to see the seriousness behind it.
So if ever you get to read office bumming stories from this blog, think of it as hard work that you have to have at least 10 hours for it a day.
Being a bum is one, serious business to be in.
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aaaw.. pity you..
you must ask for a raise then!
“Being a bum is one, serious business to be in.”
- i hear yah dawg!